Coming back - Condemmend, Mass Effect & Such

I stole my friend's Playstation 2, and got a chance to replay Onimusha 3, and it was fun for a while, but it had that Haze phenomenom. Something about the game just started to make it less and less interesting. Max Payne 2 was really fun to play again, but I stopped that after a bit too. So, I gave my friend his PS2 back, and picked up a copy of Bard's Tale, which was also fun until I got tired of hitting spacebar, waiting for The Bard to draw his bow back and charge up Arrow Storm (fires three arrows), and over and over again. I got tired of walking into non-descript dungeons facing vague clones of previous enemies. I got tired of summoning the same creatures over and over to fight. I replayed FF8 until my mistreated PSP wiped my data, and I cringed at the thought of doing it all over again.

I thought I was done with videogames. I started reading books. I liked Malus Darkblade a lot, but found it hard to find something that grabbed me as wholly. Mervus Peake's Gormenghast trilogy has amazing imagery, but also has a tendency to spend a whole page describing menial social interactions. I got into Stephen King's Dark Tower. The Gunslinger was incredible in its minimalism. A simple story, not too complicated descriptions but detailed, a unique world, and a unique voice for its main character. Intermittent pitfalls into cliches of Christ imagery and a boyish take on sexuality (a lonely barmaid with a scar throws herself at him, a gun in a vagina "purifies" a woman's womb), but an engaging story. But the next book was written years later and doesn't have the same voice. Written in 1987, it reads like an episode of "Tales from the Crypt." It's funny how people's speech has changed in twenty years or so.

So, I thought I was done with video games, but it's been difficult to find something that eats free time and engages thought as well as a video game.

Found a copy of Condemned: Criminal Origins. Fucking satisfying, creepy thriller game. I really like that studio. FEAR was fun too. Melee combat that was difficult, asked the player to learn patterns and rhythmn to survive. Favorite weapon was the blade from a paper cutter. Nasty. Also nasty to hit big pig fuckers with shovels, but fuck you shitbags, I'm gonna survive.

Then after long fights with a non-genuine copy of Windows 7, torrented games, and shite pirated games (forgive me, children of game developers), I got Mass Effect working.

So, let's talk about it.

Mass Effect gives you experience by talking to folk, but sometimes the dialogue is fucking weak. Characters are rarely very deep and often talk very plainly about themselves, their race, or things you're interested in rather than things they would be interested in. Most times, you interrogate NPCs with questions rather than engaging them in what would be considered a normal conversation. Sure, you're in the military and when most civilians meet you, they're put off like if a cop randomly stopped you and asked you to chat. However, it would be much more engaging, challenging, and realistic if the charm and intimidate skills affected a NPC's first impression of you, and that, in turn, determined what information you were given. Like if conversation were more like Yakuza's bargirl mini-game.

Mass Effect also has a good/evil system where you can be a Galactic Vigilante (or M16, KGB, Gestapo, choose your favorite analogy for a council government's police force with little to no accountability to any civilian organization) that always upholds the law but gives people leeway to follow it (one time I got renegade points for insisting that a criminal go to prison instead of continuing to run a petty crimes ring) or an asshole more interested in achieving greater good objectives than saving lives. Sometimes you could have a strong argument against the game's definitions of good and evil.

Mass Effect also allows you to travel the galaxy, and, at first, I was excited and intimidated by the scope of the galaxies, but you slowly realize a sickening pattern. Go to a galaxy, run your mouse over each planet, survey planets for materials or land on the planets and...goddamnit.

Mass Effect is a shooting RPG with a vehicle. A Mako. An all-terrain buggy. A fucking...

There are cool segments where you race through huge facilities or fight your way into heavily-fortified forts, but you never get a chance to improve your vehicle. From the start of the game until the end, it has a machine gun and a cannon. You fire the cannon and wait for it to reload. You fire your machine gun until it overheats. You have jets that allow the mako to jump ten feet or so in the air that you are never able to improve, but...

Dear, God, but, most of your time in the Mako exploring exciting new frontiers is spent trying to drive over hills and mountains. Your Mako is dropped on to a planet (Read: a square map). There are two or three scattered objectives in your operational square. In between these two or three scattered objectives are mountains and hills and valleys and dear God, all you can really do to navigate over all of these mountains, valleys, hills, and blah blah blah is press forward and hope for the best. The jump jets often just throw you off the hill.

The planets all start to look the same after a while. This planet is red. This planet is green. They're all just sparsely-populated, rocky plains. You drive halfway across each map (an hour or more added to the journey because of the fucking hills and shit) to find probes filled with items, or artifacts that give little experience and money, or facilities, and after a while, you start to notice that the facilities are all the same too. They have the same twists and turns and the boxes used for cover are all in the same places. Half-Life 2 and Portal were awesome because each segment was noticeably different and interesting. The story segments (the maps and such) are noticeably different and interesting, but a lot of the game is this planet exploring thingy. I keep thinking, "Hey, what did you do when you played this game...?" and I usually think, "I drove the damn Mako up hills on different planets. All of which had Earth's gravity." Ooh, wouldn't it be cool if the gravity was different? At one point, in Mass Effect you go to Earth's moon, and gravity is still a bitch there as you try to drive up and down its beautiful craters.

But, all of this sidequesting gets you money and experience, which aint worth shit after a while. First of all, the game overloads you with items. Boxes and crates are everywhere and they give you enough items so that you could equip every single character you have with the best of each weapon, each upgrade, armor, and biotic or electrical amplifier, but why would you bother when you only use three of them at a time? At the beginning of the game, I drooled at the equipment in shops. Then I explored a shitload of planets, and half the items I got were twice as good as the ones in the shop, so I didn't buy anything or I didn't travel back to the shops to check out new supplies because of the load times required to travel back to the main shopping hub, which is an incidental realistic touch. If you were halfway across the galaxy, you probably wouldn't travel back to the main shopping hub every time you wanted to improve your equipment. Then there was an item cap. At 150 items, you either have to sell your inventory or turn it into gel that will decrpyt locks to get more items or repair your stupid fucking mako. Lame.

Sell or buy enough, and you unlock the Spectre gear, the best weapons in the game, and at that point, only armor, upgrades, and amps become worth your time to find.

And then experience starts to become more moot. Experience gets you talent points. Talent points go to improving your weapon skills or your powers. When you have the best weapons in the game, you don't really need to improve your weapons skills. The best weapons are accurate and have high damage which is what spending talent points improves. Then powers become less important because you don't really need to use them. Your weapons are killing folk fast and effectively. You have badass armor and good upgrades for it too. You rarely get hit because you kill most of what you come across quickly. When you do get hit, it barely hurts.

Some of the upgrades are interesting. Towards the end, you get high-explosive rounds that do more damage but increase weapon overheat and other rounds that decrease accuracy, but it's always easier to get a quicker kill than to disable then kill. If you were playing Baldur's Gate, where enemies are very evenly matched with you, then it becomes really important to disable and keep enemies from disabling you. Mass Effect only has about 10 or so powers, so the strategies for using powers are limited. Run into a room, use overload to disable shields, shoot to kill. Run into a room, lift an enemy, shoot the poor bastard as he falls down, move on to the next one. Run into a room with Asari commandos, damper them so they can't turn you into a crumpled mess on the floor, sabotage their weapons if you feel like it or just shoot them down.

At the beginning of the game, combat is super difficult, but it gets easier and easier. Your buddies are really good at taking enemies down, and enemies aren't quite matched to your abilities, but it isn't clear why. Either that or I played too many sidequests and now all the story missions are too easy.

Well, I've said what I wanted to say about this game, so I'll go beat it then add some comments.

It's ok. Planescape: Torment had a tighter story and dialogue. If every game had a good story like Planescape, I would still find something to complain about, or I would be too absorbed in games to socialize.

Maybe Some (g)ood shit will Be around soon

-Lucky Lindy