Slap that bitch!

Kotaku had a really cool post on Free games that they got from some other blog, and now we're linking to their blog, and so the internet is a really insular bubble if you think about it.
Buttttttttttttttttttttt....



Slap that bitch!

Yea, slap her hard like she's the peasant!

5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself) is also an instant classic.

My brother just came out...
To me...
As a fellow blogger, well, Livejournaler, but yeah, he's also now part of the MS(g)B community with an old-school Quake 2 handle, Lt. Slothrop. Yep, back in the days when substitute teacher day was the only way we we're gonna see sweet ass, my brother gibbed men's asses in his Journalism class or extracurricular activity or whatever! He's hardcore! Back in the days when we pooped in our pants, he started to make guitars slowly weep , but weep torrents, and no, this was before torrents got you free movies, porn, and music. It's just so Raw ! Shit!

Max Payne the Movie- More fanboyism!

Loved this fucking game. Love it like I love FF7 'cause I replay both often if I think about either hard enough. Every once and a while I just wanna dive behind a corner and shoot some motherfuckers in a dark, gangster world. Then I want to run down dark alleys of guilt jumping from blood trail to blood trail, never really quieting my twisted soul, not to mention enjoy the fucking great level design! Max Payne took the wide environments of Halo or other shooters and shrunk it bite size: long hallways, enemies behind tables and chairs or up on the second floor, office buildings, docks, nightclubs, etc. It was a great game. The sequel was even more psychologically rattling. The fact that it's a movie now after the second game reminds me of Bloodrayne the movie, which 'cause I played the second game (when you leveled up your health in that game, she would coo, and say, "Ooh, I could go all night!" Ahem....It was also very challenging), I kind of wanted to see the movie, but never have...
Anyway, this should be different! I hope! Max Payne is so cool I can even ignore the fact that Michael Madsen would have been a supremely better casting choice.



THE FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MS(g)B Played Games!- Haze, Bad Company, GTA4

Yeah, so it could be easily argued that the gaming industry has gone on an FPS kick and kept putting out ho-hum titles to appeal to an audience that thinks the FPS is the grown up platform game. Remember the days when platform games were hot? Like PSX days: Pandemonium, Skull Monkeys, One (that was a great game though), Armageddon, Crash Bandicoot. I guess it was Crash and Mario that really made gaming companies go, "That makes money. That's what we're making!"
And then that trend died out and there wasn't really only one main genre because people got tired of it, I guess, or just the fact that we got into a war and suddenly the military became more interesting and relevant made "kid's" games like Donkey Kong or Banjo Kazooie less appealing. Or FPSs just fucking look and feel much better nowadays and actually started putting in plots! I dunno. Millions of reasons could be drawn for the shift, but I think I can make the argument that the market is oriented towards First Person Shooters, and since I quit in the middle of No One Lives Forever and F.E.A.R., and, especially kill.switch (oh, by the way, there's a VR concept like Assassin's' Creed's within kill.switch) I've really been tired of them.
An FPS is kind of inherently limited. You find cover. You aim for the head. You shoot, hoping to isolate the amount of enemies that can hit you while you hit them. Kill.switch and what I saw of Gears of War ground this formula into every level. You could call it Shoot-Grinding.
Granted, all video games could kind of be reduced to three or so elements. Ex: In GTA you drive to a location and shoot a target or chase a target and then shoot them then evade the cops what have grown an interest in you due to your sociopathy (love that the love interest in GTA4 constantly makes fun of you for being a sociopath). What's really fucking fun about GTA is the atmosphere, your character's dialog, the strategic choice of weapons, the fact that there's usually much more than chasing and shooting, or whatever. GTA is a blockbuster action movie. GTA is Die Hard, Reservoir Dogs, all the really choice bits of cinema fall into your hands.

So, what is Haze? From the other reviews I've read, Haze, in terms of its plot and character development, is Last Action Hero. Just like Last Action Hero parodied all the top detective action movies but was panned for being a bad action film, Haze is a game so satirical of other FPSs that it ends up reinforcing their cliches.
It starts off really well. You, a directionless college student, have joined up with a Private military corporation that essentially acts as world police, and you juice up with your fellow comrades, who would fist-pound after they raped and shot your mother, to take down the rebel troops in the area. Gameplay relies on you juicing up because you're fighting in a jungle and working for a corporation that doesn't favor camouflage like the rebels you're fighting. The magical Nectar somehow makes you shoot better while fading out all the nasty bits like the blood on your hands.
Arguably, the best sequence in the game is when this system breaks down and you are forced to deal with Nectar withdrawal (similar to GTA4: DUI or the many alcoholic withdrawal sequences in Condemned 2) while rebels still try to kill your brainwashed ass, and in a moment of clarity, you realize that you are committing unjustified murder, and your superior officer has reduced all native human life to "animals" or "empty hands" (what is an empty hand? A hand that could hold a gun, but isn't at the moment) and deemed them all worthy of execution.
I mean, most of that was in the silly, live-action trailer . I should mention that small touches were made to the trailer's exposition and that the voice-actor completely changed, but it's all mostly there, so...what's left?
Well...like ten hours of pretty uninteresting gameplay. As a rebel, your accuracy is better, you're faster, and you no longer rely on Haze to extend your life a little longer so you can recover, your health just comes back at a quick and steady rate. You are an unstoppable killing machine. How boring.
Even if somehow you die, it's probably just 'cause you were fucking around for a little entertainment. As a Mantel trooper, there was plenty of entertainment shooting your squadmate's Nectar regulator and watching the dude flip out, shooting, sometimes blowing themselves up, and screaming things like, "I'm gonna kill them all! I'm gonna kill the world!" or "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" As a rebel, your teammates are morons and say the same four things over and over, "Remember your promise to Merino!" or "Mantel dies today!" or "As Merino says, today is the day Mantel dies!" As a rebel, you never talk with any of the rebels besides the leader, so you don't get the same sort of awkward bonding experience you got working for Mantel. Your only social contact is with Merino, and he mostly just preaches at you or yells at you for fucking up. At some point you realize that working for the rebels is just as morally questionable as working for the Mantel troops (see the Zero Punctuation review ), but your character is too much of a pussy (which I like, actually, because it makes sense and it's different from the usual FPS trooper) to tell Merino off, so the storyline just kind of stops until the end where it's abruptly halted by Merino using the same line your commander back at Mantel did: "[Mantel] were just animals!"
And, no, they weren't. Yeah, some of the boys who signed up for Mantel were jocks or whatever, but others, like your character, were just confused and looking to do some good for the world. It's Iraq. It's Vietnam. It's Korea. It's Bay of Pigs. It's Salavador Allende and Chile.
And so, Haze just kind of reiterates the lessons learned in those conflicts, and applies them in a way meant to satirize first person shooters, but the game is still just like them. You still kill people for questionable reasons, enemies still kind of disappear, and it isn't even fun to play after a while. John Fu and I kept trying to fall asleep.
I had a similar problem with Bioshock because the enemies in Bioshock are just people. Your average, everyday Joe who just wanted to make a buck but got dragged into a violent world of harvest adam or be harvested. They say depressing things. You can tell they're morally conflicted by their calls to you, ex: "Jesus loves me, this is so. For the bible tells me so." or "Why don't you think I'm pretty anymore?" It's haunting to kill people this emotionally damaged for your own survival and revenge. I was really upset.

_________End of review, this post is really long___________

In contrast, there's Bad Company, which is also kind of a satire in plot, but much tighter in terms of gameplay and kind of throws all morality out the window...in a fun way. Yes, you point and shoot, but fire too much and your aim goes to shit. Leave cover and get shot too much and you will fucking die. Get hurt, and stab yourself in the heart with adrenaline (or something) to regain health, but use it wisely because it takes a while to recharge, and get ready to fucking die because you deal with a lot of fucking tanks, and run your fucking ass whenever you see a helicopter. Oh, and also, navigate the huge terrain of Russia and surrounding lands, exploring to get collectibles and gold packages, but be on guard because enemies spawn randomly. All this reminds me of Assassin's Creed.
Bad Company also reminds me of .hack in the fact that it's structured like an MMO, but plays like an FPS. Add the fact that you have several choices of vehicles to navigate the whole of Russia, and Bad Company even looks like GTA. Whoa! Great! A military game that looks like you're actually part of a big war campaign like Market Garden or D-Day instead of being mission-based and all over the place like Call of Duty 4.
Now, on top of that, add the plot of Three Kings. Bad Company is the misfit outfit, the soldiers that no one else wants, and as the most expendable company, they get the shittiest, most dangerous orders, so...why put up with that shit? Why not steal the gold of an asshole, badguy mercenary whose sending troops against the US?
Why the fuck not, indeed?
Bad Company is fun in its gameplay, its story, and its characters' intermittently cavalier and incredulous attitude towards destruction and treason, and because it they seem like actual rational human beings instead of mouths for Uncle Sam's dick. These aren't the assholes in other military games who does his job for his country or to stop terrorism, no, these guys are Catch 22, they want to do good for their country sure, but their country better do good by them too.
The pacing's great. The scenarios are also great. The weapons are diverse and fun. In-game cinemas meld practically seamlessly with the gameplay. There are no continues, you just get moved back to the checkpoint like you got med-evac'd at the last moment, so everything you did just before you died stays, which is good or bad based on the situation (Ex: You killed a tank, but died while doing it or you tried to kill a tank and got your vehicle blown up in the process so now you have no vehicle to fight the tank with).
I really liked it. It was short, I guess. There's multiplayer, but I'm really picky about that shit , so I didn't try it. There was no co-op, but it was fucking fun, and, sorry, whoops, sorry. I forgot to mention that most everything is destructible...wait for it...EVEN TREES! Oh my god! Trees go down like a fat bitch on roller skates! You want to get at an enemy behind cover? Shoot that motherfucker's cover and it'll explode like diarrhea! Now you've got a shot, and your enemy's left holding his dick in the rubble that used to protect him.
What's bad about this? Well, apparently it's a trade-off. Cover blows up, but you can't shoot through it like you can in Call of Duty 4, and explosions look pretty ugly and you have to be pretty fucking precise to kill an enemy with explosives.
Finally, Bad Company also provides you with tools to use, which vary from power tools to repair your vehicles to C4 or an RPG to devices that call in air strikes! This adds another interesting element to the game as not only do the air striker caller thingies require you to take the time away from cover to target w/e thing you want to explode, but also, sometimes the air strike machines require you to guide the missile in to whatever you were trying to explode, which can be challenging as shit sometimes, so don't fuck up or that tank's got you dead.

________________3rd Review________________

JFU & LBJ also played GTA4, and I've mentioned it several times throughout, but I couldn't really do it justice to review it. The aiming system is much improved. The explosions are beautiful. The environments are beautiful. The character models are pretty ugly. The story has taken a Haze-esque approach in casting Niko as a sort-of reluctant anti-hero (WOW! What a cool concept!) in that he is a war-shocked human being, who would feel much better if people stopped asking him to kill others, but still wants to make it in the big city for himself and his family. Reviewers complained about the hanging-out system, but it's easy enough to turn it off, or enjoyable because the people are very likable, especially Little Jacob, or they're bitches like the Irish girl you date, and when they drink they break down into severely telling moments ("Just a stupid, self-indulgent, cunt!" or "I hate myself!"). Reviewers also complained about how easy it is to run from the cops, and fuck them 'cause it's not and I like the system better. Like Assassin's Creed, getting the cops' attention spans a perimeter search displayed on your radar. If you manage to escape that perimeter without being re-discovered by the cops or committing new crimes to get more attention, your warning level goes down, but the cops are everywhere. It is hard as shit to steal a car or fire a gun without them seeing you. Random crime really doesn't pay unless you're out for the cop rampage. Everything else is everything that the GTA series always delivers: hilarious radio, hilarious advertisements, billions of hair-raising scenarios (favorites were shooting cops or gangsters up in a public housing building or robbing banks), great characters, great dialog, great voice-acting, and a new take on the crime world.
And, finally, something new to GTA4: a conscience. Several missions let you choose whether to kill or leave a person alive, and anyone you've shot so they fall down to the ground can get back up begging for their lives, so even though you've just slaughtered a warehouse full of people, presumably they could still get medical attention and be OK. Your character has a conscience if you don't, and will often times express how numb he feels from his experiences in war and in Liberty City, and know that his actions are morally-reprehensible, but continue on despite...
It's a great game. One of the most moving games I've ever played, and, I would say, next to GTA3 is the best game in the series so far.

i'M Soon out of video(g)ames i wanted to Buy or play,

Lynny Boj

P.S.

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee"

The Fuk LBJ: ROUGH DRAFT Triumphant

So now, all scenes of Fuk LBJ (Yeah, if you followed the trailer, we're way behind schedule) have been completely edited (sort of)!
Check out our Soundtrack!

It was hard. The final stretch was harder, but we have completed a work to rival all other amateur Youtube films. Yes, this might be a video that everyone looks at once, enjoys, and then moves on with their lives, but I've been watching it like once a day. It's important to me. It's something we created from nothing.

Notes about editing:
1. Communication has to be kept up between cast members and director even during improv elements
2. It's bad to be stubborn
3. More footage is good footage, but it makes setting the sequence much harder
4. The human ear and eye can catch really really small movements and sounds
5. Premiere Pro 2 is much smarter than us.
6. Nothing has turned out the way we expected.
7. It's a good thing this took us so long.
8. Editing is ruining our ability to enjoy other forms of entertainment. Like we hear a song or video and think, "That could have been shorter" or "That didn't even establish the scene!"
9. Every song sounds like a different one slowed down, sped up, or cut into pieces.
10. Editing is a soul-sucking process. Good things happen but you still got so much shit to do, why are you even celebrating? Did that scene even look right? Will the audience see it the same way you do?
11. Tracy Morgan and Katt Williams is the shit right here.

today's wiMner will reSeive the (g)ift oB KOREAN Turkwise!

NOW Subscribe!

Another for the sake of friendly exchange

It's easier to do this since it would be a lengthy comment.

FF7 was the reason that I bought a console after having a SNES and took a long break after having played the Super Metroid, Super Mario RPG, Zelda, Donkey Kong goodness.

FF7 was one of the reasons why I got into gaming the way I have, and I will say that despite the allure it had, despite playing through the game multiple times (my last time I played through I got 3 master magic materias from literally mastering every single green magic shit through all 5 levels three times over) I can say that I have clocked in over 400 hours easily on that game. Despite everything of that sort I can easily say that it is an overrated game that whose rating is fueled by nostalgia and the timing of it's release. Aside from being a definite above average and solid game it is definitely eclipsed by many other games that deserve a lot more attention. Atlus does churn out a hell of a lot of stereotypical anime/japanese games, at the same time it brings over things that have mechanics or twists that are wholly unique to the given game.

Reasons why Atlus is by far higher in my eyes than Square (not Enix):
Rule of Rose: despite the rough around the edges combat the story and atmosphere of this game is like Silent Hill but with a more human spin.
Odin Sphere: greatly hyped but shows that high-res sprites definitely have a place in the next gen.
Sky Gunner: Think Star Fox all range mode but extremely hard and you have to manage funds.
Trauma Center: I think this game series speaks for itself in terms of what it's done for innovation in game-play interaction.
Ogre Battle: FFTactics, one of my favorite games of all time I will admit ripped off horribly from this franchise.
Persona 2: Up there with one of my favorite RPGs with ridiculous depth in gameplay mechanics.
R-Type Command: Re-envisioned R-type as a strategy RPG that is highly addictive and has the amount of options of weapons, 100s of ships, etc. as the normal R-type game.
Touch Detective: If Tim Burton were to make a Myst-esque game then this would be it, the offbeat humor and interesting art angle make it a diamond in the rough of point and click adventure on the DS.
Ontamarama: a Rhythm game totally unique that incorporates pressing buttons on the DS, drawing circles around objects while avoiding others and tapping things while in rhythm. Not only is it ridiculously difficult/fun but blows my mind in terms of what it took to come up with it.
Etrian Odyssey: Bust out that pen and paper cause you'll be spending as much time with this oldschool dungeon crawler as you did with D&D sans the huddle of friends in the basement late at night.
SMT III: Nocturne: My favorite game of all time. Challenge gods, decide your philosophy, the melting of religious mythos into a post apocalyptic world. My god I wish this was made into a movie (take away the exp grinding and it'd be a helluva ride).
SMT: Digital Devil Saga: Made me realize that voice acting can actually be good in a game, that an RPG can be legitly hard and not based on level or exp grinding.

Square on the otherhand has put the Mana series to shit, last good one being Legend of Mana on the Playstation (love it, stayed up all night training the damned pets in the game). Final Fantasy series lost my interest once 10 hit. 12 looks like it has some solid aspects and the fact it's penned by the guy who did the story for Tactics gives me hope, not to mention I own the 4 disc soundtrack etc. but the MMO interface that resonates so much with watching my friend play FF XI for hours makes me sick. That is a fusion that I can't get past. Dirge was a shoddy attempt, I abhor the Kingdom Hearts series. I played the first one all the way through and was never able to buy into it, I respect it for what it did but that was just not for me. Square has squandered the street cred it used to have. They have stopped being experimental with new apps and stuck to milking the hell out of existing franchises, at least KH had the Disney face to sell it. They even announced on Kotaku a month or two ago that Squareenix was going to cut back on original apps *cough* World Ends With You (unfortunate since it sounded like an interesting venture). They have become a large corporation who sadly merged with a company who makes very solid games that have not yet fallen prey to the lack of effort that Square has exhibited.

Enix, yeah Dragonquest (Dragon Warrior) has been the same for god knows how long, but would you really complain if Square popped one FF7 quality game after the other out? Enix does Star Ocean, that series is SERIOUS business. Star Ocean 2nd Story is one of the best RPGs on Playstation, Valkyrie Profile as well. Tri-Ace even released Radiata stories which was a totally new app in the age of the PS2 which was amazing as hell and totally overshadowed since it didn't have Final Fantasy in the name. Enix even released Robot Alchemic Drive, that game is so ridiculously awesome I'm not sure how else to put it aside from it's a surprise it exists.

I wish Square would realize they are capable of putting out new games that are edgy and experimental or just not Final Fantasy remakes(Threads of Fate? Vagrant Story? Ehrgeiz?) and not feel the cautious need to maintain some ridiculous profit margin by churning out remakes upon remakes of proven amazing games. I am not complaining about their remakes, hell the FF Tactics one is excellent since it's portable ( I could do without the slowdown and broken dark knight class though). Chrono Trigger, why not? Every single Final Fantasy title up to the PS2 era would be cool and all, but what about those of us that want something a little different? Plenty of people are still waiting to cream themselves over a FF7 remake, if it comes I'd probably even buy it to re-live the goodness in a new presentation.

So yes, Atlus does churn out a lot of generic JRPGs (Atelier Iris, Ar Tonelico, Growlanser, Stella Deus, Baroque, Magna Carta, SMT: Devil Summoner) and they are good taken as they are and nothing more. Formulaic distractions that can be entertaining and not always the most epic of stories to blow your load over waxing nostalgic. Between those releases though (not to say those can't be special to a random given person) they bring over some very amazing titles that most other publishers wouldn't risk bringing to the US. This is why I give them mad respect. Enix takes their time in putting out their titles, occasional throwaways but in my eyes they have kept up the integrity of the main franchises (DQ, Star Ocean, among others). What pains me is Square has obviously dropped the ball trying to throw out continuations of franchises that would most likely sell and I feel they counted too much on the name factor and didn't put as much effort into them as they may have used to. I just don't appreciate the copious remakes without a considerable enough catalogue of newer original titles.

This is just my opinion, it isn't set in stone as I am very eager to see Square turn things around a bit. The only reason why I still see Square and Enix as still separate is because of this particular opinion. My love for Atlus is more likely than not due to my cheering for the underdog that publishes the weird titles for the US that most other companies would not bring over otherwise(although more than 50% are only weird because it's standard japanese game fodder). That's ok with me.

I'd always preferred Baldur's Gate II to Kotor, but both were definitely amazing. Black Isle is an absolute dream in terms of game quality.

FF XIII IS COMING!!!!....

And I could honestly care less cause it looks like a complete bore. Ok here we go, the new E3 Trailer of FFXIII hot off the heals of the announcement it will be on 360. This makes it easy on me if I ever decide to pick it up and give it a whirl since I can hold off on getting the PS3 for a little longer to play MGS4, GT5, and some Nippon Ichi goodness. Lets take a look at this trailer piece by piece.

To start things out is some lines of Japanese which I am sure is saying something along the lines of "IN A WORLD TORN BY WAR" or "IN A LAND OPRESSED BY A CRAZY GOVERNMENT" because that tends to be the spin on most RPGs. The first glimpse we get, in true Final Fantasy fashion all they will end up showing us anyways are cinematics and nothing to show off how one may actually be playing this "game", is a dragon flying through a valley which looks like a current generation iteration of Panzer Dragoon (love the games). Next we get a shot of super serial future city and airships. What would Final Fantasy be without Airships? While they have become a standard in the series I wonder if the massive amount of inclusion in the story of EVERY single recent game is necessary. I mean at least in the earlier ones your party eventually got one to make traveling an overworld (WHY DO THESE NOT EXIST ANYMORE?? they were awesome) but now they just seem to be the easy way to get "oohs" and "ahhs" out of people while watching cinematics because it's the most fantastical thing to see in a fantasy world, that's right a fantastic foray into imagination. It's like glitter, lets sprinkle some more of those air ships in there to show how graphically awesome we can make these FMVs, those are after all the main hooks of FF games in the past couple years. I tire to think that Final Fantasy has become some kind of gauge for how technically advanced graphics can get in video games, they've been dropping the ball in terms of characters, likeability, originality, and gameplay because they are so focused on this stuff.

Take notes now, soft cream colors for up in the clouds. IT MUST BE FLUFFY. Blue glowing lights as well for technology, I love my blue glowing external or tablet but if everything in my house glowed blue LEDs it loses the uniqueness. Next we see the obvious large government/army/corporation troops donning bright clean uniforms (note: they have the blue to show the technological advancement) coming to assail our heroine. What RPG would be complete if the introduction of a character was not accompanied by them being surrounded by a large array of enemies. Then followed by them dispatching of the soldiers in a cool, flashy, and sometimes wholly unecessary manner which will be preceded by a slight look of doubt before dealing with them all effortlessly.

Quick, if you look closely at the soldier helmets they have saved time in the design/drafting process by clipping the judges from FFXII. I have performed a hasty process through the advanced program MS paint and this is the result:
Before













After


















And here we can see the new guards:










I mean, I would honestly love for there to be a new Final Fantasy title that just sweeps me up and gives me the same euphoria that some of the previous titles have given me but the Squeenix of late just does not even feel like they try anymore with the FF franchise. Next the game shows off some oldies of what may possibly be the incarnations of Shiva and Ifrit for the game. Then some explosions, gunfire, keep watching the graphics...WAIT THERE WAS A HUD! nope it's gone now. As a whole I can't help but wonder when when it was decided that the future was painted with a palette of primarily white, blues, purple and some other cool colors, interspersed with lots of bold primary colors. The architexture is a lot of smooth surfaces and ovals/circles. I am a little tired of every city and hallway being another take of the hallways from Xenosaga, the Balamb Garden, Star Ocean, Final Fantasy X.

I guess back when FF8 was on it's way those cutscenes of that epic battle between squall and Seifer was like whoa, and that spider robot on the beach had me jumping to play the game. That was then, back when I was actually wowed by graphics because we had honestly not seen anything like it before. This just seems no different from the previous stuff they've released, the video isn't wowing to me at all. It just leaves me with a sense of "yeah...and I don't care what video you've cooked up I wanna know how it plays and what kinda features there are". To be fair I guess you could say they haven't gotten that far in the game planning, to that I respond stop wasting fucking time making videos of the game cutscenes and get to work on the meat of the game. That is the primary problem that I think the Square part of Squeenix is having of late, they haven't caught on yet that gameplay is the heart of the game not graphics (I have no beef with enix, they have managed to do well in this new age). They were able to ride the wave of being on the edge of graphics for so long while we progressed from basic polygons to what we have today that they've changed their method of production to be centered around "awe inspired visuals" and gameplay secondary. In a time now where the graphical increases are becoming so small I feel they have lost a huge edge until the next leap or bound is made. While they may be reaching to be the one to make that bridging of a gap I feel they have sacrificed a great deal in terms of the gameplay and story content they used to have.

And now...an update

So yeah, I guess a lot of things are suddenly going on now in our summer schedules. I personally just got my first car the other day, dark grey 2006 VW GTI YUSSS. Games... hmm game time.

I have recently split my time among numerous 360 titles savoring in their combined loveliness. Forza 2 is a sweet fix for a driving sim. The last driving simulator I got into in a big way was back when Playstation was king and I played the shit out of GT2. After clearing that up one summer I had no desire to really get into the third or fourth iteration all this time. Forza 2 coming packaged with the 360 was pretty rad since I wouldn't have gone out of my way to get it, but having it is definitely a good thing. I sunk most of my past saturday on driving in career-mode (I am curious how frequently I will hit the game up now that I have a car of my own to joy ride in....premium gas is expensive and Forza 2 is free o_O).

Other titles I've been sinking my teeth into are Ninja Gaiden 2 and Condemned: Criminal Origins. Starting with Ninja Gaiden 2 I have to say I finally know what all the buzz is about. I freakin love it. Being a huge fan of the DMC series already Ninja Gaiden is right up my alley. I picked Path of the Warrior to start out not having played a NG game before and I think it's just fine so far. Part of it is me knows that some of the deaths are because I am a retard so I don't fault the game yet for being overly difficult on the basic difficulty. Honestly it gives off the same vibe of a learning curve as DMC did, albeit definitely overall harder than previous DMC titles, and that is: You may die, you may die a lot... but you still have this feeling inside that you know you CAN do it. This is the absolutely addictive quality to these kinds of games that I find, not only is it satisfying to finally beat it but when you're in the zone dancing about cutting up enemies it is pure magic. When you take out a batch of spawned enemies without taking a hit then it feels so right and visually it looks so rad that you want more. I think I may still be in chapter 3 of NG2? maybe 4 but so far I'm totally down and loving it. FUCK YOU METAL-LIGHTNING-FISH-MAN that fight was so frustrating and the fact that the death animation shows Ryu walk away non-chalantly with mad-explosions behind him made me errupt in laughter.

Next we have Condemned: Criminal Origins... OMGZ WTF. This game is amazing, amazingly creepy and disturbing and demands you play it more. I have never felt more jumpy after playing a game and more eager to dive down pitch black hallways in slums to be jumped by junkies jacked up on crack-cocaine and other totally sweet narcotics. I mean, the game eases you into the thriller-fest quite nicely. The story starts out nicely with you, an FBI agent, investigating another crime-scene of a loose serial killer. Naturally to get the average player who is already thinking "enough with the forensics lets kill some bitches" into some action it just so happens the serial killer is still on the premises. You're introduced to mechanics as you slowly attempt to chase the suspect despite being told to sit tight. After downing a couple junkies you naturally have your gun taken from you by the serial killer and subsequently he uses it to kill your friendly locals and gets the ball rolling on the main plot of you being framed and needing to take your own steps to justify your innocence. Up till that point I was like ok, this game has got the sound mixing going on and has me on my toes, but it wasn't that bad yet. Enter chapter 2 and now I am scared shitless. So I found pictures someone took of me from across the street, obviously from the abandoned subway station across the way. That's easy, lets just go diving into the filth of the city and pop up with the evidence I need! Inside the stygian basement labyrinth that happens to connect the alley behind my house to aforementioned subway station I experience the "oh shit, things just got real" moment. Only now at this point in the game has the AI begun to really shine in showing off the "run away to grab a better weapon" or "break light sources so we fan fuck the detective" routines. What totally got me though was when I passed a window to a room and needed a health pack bad so I figured I should check out inside the room. Naturally the room held the sustenance I needed, but wielding a .45 I was hesitant to use a round on the damn glass to get to my tasty-delicious... so I investigate the rest of the room to find a 2x4 or pipe to bust up some glass. As I turn the corner and see the window that I had peered in from... WTFZOMGJESUSCHRIST. In the hallway I had just come from there is a crazy leaning casually on the window peering at me and I can hear hear him emit a laugh that shot needles of ice down my back. WHAT THE FUCK this game just turned the knob to 11, it just whispered into my ear "we gon' go for a ride...", I just shat my pants. Immediately he slinkers off and naturally awaited around the corner of the door to get into the room I was in, being the ammo-whore that I am I decide it's worth taking him out to get his weapon to break into the health box. I mentioned I was low on health and being the shaky-tard-ass that I am I got jumped and died. I loaded that shit back up, went to the room, heard his shit-eating-laugh and put a bullet in his head while he leaned on the glass... the motherfucker still slinkered off so I tazered him outside the door and beat his ass with his weapon. I will assume that my aim was not true and it grazed him compounded by the fact the glass probably slowed down the bullet...but there was blood on the outside. Or I could easily just assume these drugs make these hobos complete super sodliers capable of sustaining bullets to the head.

I really do enjoy the whole "oh you need a sledgehammer to get through this door, you better go get it from the room across the way you can only get to by going through a pitch black basement filled with crack-heads with .45s" because I end up laughing every time it takes me until I reach the tool to realize I was sent on this small detour. That doesn't really detract from it since you're too damned busy jumping at every noise you hear cause some damn crack-lunatic is hiding behind the next corner with a 2x4 littered with sharp nails ready to drive a good one in on your skull. So far I am loving this game, I will be honest and say this has never been my flavor of game and I used to be flat-out unable to handle this. But with all things my tastes change and now I am absolutely loving it, granted I can only do it in doses haha. The intensity is ridiculous for me, the demented sounds I heard at the bottom of those basements creeped me the fuck out and yet amounted to nothing. More likely than not it was the serial killer actually whacking it while he watched me with nightvision goggles. I also really enjoy the fact the serial killer that had a monologue at the beginning is absolutely normal and average looking save for the fact his speech showed he is not right in the head. Absolutely brilliant fucking characterization.

On a completely unrelated note I give you hotness...absolute hotness. I swear to god next time they come to the DC area for a concert I am going to the afterparty.


Also JohnFuKennedy I share 2 things that I love, Sneaker Pimps and Batman Begins:

MS(g)B at work

LBJ & JFU ARE IN GRINNELL, IA! SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM, LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!

YE WILL BE AS PRODUCTIVE!

This tickles me

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

I really wish this was a video some guy seriously put together. Does that make me a bad person?

~JFu

GTA: San Andreas

::Insert picture of da puta that I am too lazy too find::

Ya'll remember in San Andreas when you met the chick who fucks over the guy in GTA3, and you fell in love with her...

I'm still in love with her...Catalina, right? I wanna be your idioto.

On a quest to save the world...on another quest to, oh save the world

JRPGs, one of the most straightforward genres of games that many argue to be boring and mostly uninspired. Yes a lot of them involve saving the world, always some kind of evil bad-guy menace whom your main character more likely than not has a personal vendetta against. The games tend to be rife with cliches and such, so what is it that is so appealing about them? I can't speak for everyone but one big attraction for myself has always been the number crunching side of it. That doesn't sound too glorious on it's own right? When it comes down to it though, the levels, mix-matching of skills, finding comboes, or infinite possiblities offered in some games is an appeal to me. Also art direction/character design holds a huge sway as well, and finally the spin of a game is massive.

If a given game has a solid skill system or character growth system we find ourselves hooked on the game for the sake of advancing our characters and seeing just what the hell is possible. Will we really be able to make Jake some badass sword-saint? Can Jessie really pull off being that slutty-whore of a witch that we want in skimpy robes so bad? Maybe it's just me, but on some level our minds always want to sculpt a character into our idea of a great adventurer for a given story if we were in the specific situation. This point rather applies to all games though.

JRPGs always have presentation/art as a huge selling point. If you're down with anime generally then you're right at home. The vast majority of Shin Megami Tensei games won me over immediately due to Kaneko Kazuma's astounding artwork and absolutely grim storytelling. Whether it was me reshaping the world how I saw fit (I joined Lucifer to oppose The Almighty.... he had REALLY cool treasures...) or being a rebellious combat AI program that in turn sacrifices everything to save the world, the stories have been something that were slightly generic yet had it's own twist that makes it unique. Actually who am I kidding, Nocturne and DDS were for the most part pretty non-generic stories but they are special cases. The unique spin on those games and character dynamics were solid, but lets go examine something more obvious. What the hell made Dragon Quest VIII so goddamn awesome.

I loved Dragon Quest VIII, I will admit I never played the previous iterations on PS or whatever other forms they were in. First off, the cel-shading in the game was love at first sight. I love cel-shading, I personally think my Wii should utilize more cel-shading to have more of an artsy approach rather than trying really hard to prove itself. Artistic spin > LIFE LIKE DETAIL HIGH RESOOOOO. I am a fan of turn based combat, it takes all kinds, and I like the classic battle interface that is present in the game. Character customization was there, you build your character to have a weapon preference and then learn moves for the given weapon. Character personalities and stories are a little cookie-cutter but the voice acting was solid and it played out like a generic fairy tale with a lot of soul. It's that summer blockbuster that you see, you admit was cheesy as hell, yet you have to admit you loved every bit of it. My affection for JRPGs can be similar to my appreciation for the amazing genre that is Drum 'n' Bass. Example (fuckin right Dieselboy, this track is sick live):



Drum 'n' Bass to a lot of people all sounds the same, JRPGs for the most part from afar look all the same: "Cutesy anime characters (or ridiculously over-emasculated ones....or emo) running around on a quest to *insert noble cause*". Once one starts to dive beneath the surface of one though minute details are picked up, a real sense of individuality for the particular game can be found in it's setting, presentation, and characters. As a poor bastard that has played his fair share of overly generic JRPGs (Atelier Iris, Final Fantasy, Star Ocean, Tales, Chrono) to ones that have a lot more of an "artsy" or "unique angle " to them (SMT:Nocturne, SMT:DDS, Valkyrie Profile, Xenogears) and I have honestly enjoyed and found worthwhile things in each of the games. Even ones that I played and didn't enjoy I still found positive things about them. I find it interesting that my disinterest in some games of this genre can be totally irrational and not make sense yet it exists. While my dislike of FF X is quite obvious in the bad VAing and utter loathing of the art direction of the game and characters in it (everything in that game just seemed so gaudy to me) but my lack of appreciation for the Xenosaga line of games is harder to put my finger on.

I own two of the games, hell I preordered the third to get the artbook, I think one of the biggest faults I had with the series is that the creators tried to create a story that is far in the past of the story of Xenogears. In doing this they created characters that are direct copies from the previous project I guess intended to be a nod to fans but came off as corny to myself. I don't want to see Vanderkaum of Citan's practical clone "Jin", the throwing around of Citan's surname Uzuki as a "hey fans remember this". Then for good measure lets throw in some Nietzsche to make the story profound, I mean in Xenogears it fit rather well with the whole schizophrenic etc. but it felt so forced in Xenosaga. I feel like I would have actually really enjoyed the games if they had no attempted links to the original incarnation on PS. I mean the story they have is rather detailed and well thought out, the characters work well together but what kills it for me is some of the forced symbolism/terms. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if it had had no voice acting, because half of the voice acting in the games are really well done (the previously posted clip with KOS-MOS outside the spaceship is so great) but other parts just had me wanting to tear my hair out (FF X syndrome). Finally, I said I am a huge fan of the art direction of a game and a lot of the character designs in Xenosaga I can't dig at all. I liked the mecha designs, as well as the ship designs, Iggy was cool but then some of the outfits and fusion of realistic/anime threw me. So to sum it up I just buy into them, maybe some day in the future when I try to replay them it'll click but right now the associations they throw into them with the previous generation's title just kills it for me. I respect the games, I know plenty of people who like them and there is a lot to like, but aspects of the games just slay me. I can see this similar to seeing a movie that is based on a book and finding the movie lackluster, or too flawed for your taste while a friend of mine may have liked it having not read the book and taking the movie on it's own merits (not having expectations). To be fair, it is dangerous territory when working on spiritual successors to a game that shaped my early video game appreciation many years after the fact (so my nostalgic memories are skewed to be even better than they probably were).


Brazilian Girls at 930 Club in just over a week YUSSSS!!
Ladytron I want to see you again >_<

Goo, Sucka! Turning Point too!

I don't know if this ever came out, but it looked really fun. It's also loosely based on concepts of Liquid War , which was pretty damn fun.

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty...not a very good game...very glitchy and ugly, like going back to play Medal of Honor on the PS1 again. Also, you gotta wonder what the Germans think. Are they all like, "Man, I wish the damn Americans would stop bringing up old wounds. We aint never gonna live dot down."