Thursday, January 31, 2008

Y does it have to end?

I'll be honest, Brian K. Vaughan can do no wrong in my eyes. One of my most prized possessions is an autographed book of Ex Machina. I adore anything that man touches (I might have to even start watching Lost). I just wanted to take this time and post the concluding paragraph to IGN's review of the final (yes FINAL) issue of Y: The Last Man.

"I'd hate to end on that negative note, so let me reiterate that as far as this reviewer is concerned, the conclusion of Y: The Last Man is as close to a perfect ending as you're likely to see anywhere in the history of comics."

The other take is equally full of deserving praise. Now I regret not keeping up with the series even more. I think I stopped reading after issue 40 or such. They hadn't released any of the new compilations and the single issues are a bitch to find in Blacksburg. I need to get my hands on these immediately and cut myself off from the rest of society until I'm finished. Damn you BKV, damn you for being one of the best comic writers to ever grace the page!

Curse you Google for fucking up the fonts!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Somebody pinch me...

Jack Thompson... defends a game?

I don't know what to think anymore. My whole world has been turned upside down.

Half Life Episode 2

Now, I would love to go back and play the entirety of Half-life 2 and Half-life 2 Episode 1, but I haven't got a ps3 with me. I think if I did, I would find that they had stronger premises than Episode 2 does. From the beginning of the game, NPCs are almost constantly conscripting you to do things for them, commonly with lines like, "Oh, sure, Gordon won't mind looking for Antlion babies. That's why he became a nuclear physicist in the first place" or "Ahh...this is the kind of obstacle that could be easily solved with a rocket in the right place that The Freeman is famous for solving in a way that shows off the physics engine." The creators making fun of their own level design over and over again in this manner cheapens the experience. In Half-Life 1, the whole facility was going to shit, so it made sense that you had to do some crazy shit to get by it. In Half-Life 2, you spent most of your time fighting through war-ravaged areas. In Half-Life 2 Episode 2, I feel several parts of the experience have grown old.

1: The Combine never die, or it's just the battles in Episode 2 are the shit where the losers get mopped up by the good guys. Movies and Video Games should focus on the huge battles. As it is, Episode 2 has you fighting in peoples' houses (yeah...they've made a coordinated effort to attack you) or fighting the last-ditch efforts (8 striders is nothing motherfucker, suck it! I rock choppers in a church [<- Episode 1] and tussled more striders in the streets [<- Half-Life 2] of the combine to stop your portal-closing rocket...mmmmmm.

2. Alyx getting stabbed is a horribly frightening scene but for a character who can take rockets to the face while she fight alongside you, this scene doesn't make a lot of sense as time goes on. Kind of like when you know who in that very famous game bites it and for some unknown reason the party doesn't use a revive item. Some kind of explanation why Alyx doesn't need healing, like she's got an HEV suit or her blood resists physical damage unless its robot metal or she's secretly the devil (Ohh..like in that Ninth Gate movie, and then Johnny Depp fucks her! HOT HOT HAWT!) would be nice. I don't know. The other things about playing with a partner like her is the incentive to actually fight for yourself goes way down. Why waste ammo or health on the annoying jumpy spitter antlions when the Vortigaunt can return them to the all being or vortessence with ease?

3. The combat scares me. I never really felt confident like I could take a million hunters and their family's babies. That shit scared me. Albeit I got better by the end, but fighting two Guardians is a scary rather than fun idea. They run fast...

4. I tried to beat this game at various 2 am non-stop gaming sessions. I probably should have taken it more easy, so I could enjoy the game; however...

5. Where's the goddamn story? Most of the game you're just trying to get to this place, then you get there and then you're protecting a rocket and then you're finding a ship that this bitch I thought was dead or deserved to be dead for fucking the human race over is. Well...umm...where's this headed? Tension with the G-man is building, but no real threats or aggravating bits.

6. There's a twist I didn't care about. Well, why should I? It's fucking war, that shit happens. I should have believed it because those two were close based from the dialogue, but...

7. There's no real characters. Alyx is a cute, wise-cracking girl who likes you and gets
embarassed when your baby-making is mentioned (quite explicitly). She cares about her father, but she never really talks to you to give you hints about who she is, so you can really start to like her. Magnuson or the Vortigaunts have the most character. The Vortigaunt's a dick. He thinks he's funny, but I'll kill that motherfucker if he makes one more crack about my bad luck. So does Adam Baldwin's backup character, he developed a character with very little time for dialogue. So maybe the acting needs a little work, but I think it's the writing meself. And dear, God, dear god why...

8. Why is it cool to have a main character who doesn't talk? Gordon signs up for all this stuff because no one lets him talk! That sucks. What are his motivations? They're not mine. I would have expressed some unwillingness to go back to war over and over again, or some kind of guilt over having brought about the enslaving of the human race.
Overall, the Half-Life episodes story is taking too long too tell. It's like when they released the Matrix, and then needed two sequels instead of just the one: it caused a simple story to be stretched too far. Matrix 2 and 3 would have made one great movie without as much talking, fighting, and annoying little boy who has no bearing on the main story. I really think they need to pick the plot the fuck up because

P.S. : The time in between episodes is immense, and I forgot what's going on. Another example: I don't know what's happened in Xenosaga 2, but uhh...I'm not restarting! I actually might...I did with the first game. It really helped. Actually, I won't because there's an annoying beginning sequence. I really like that game. Story is quite neat, hard to understand but neat.

So thanks,

i'M Sa (g)onna B seeing ya, L Bia Johnsy

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Demo Lookat - The Club, Turok

The Club:

Whooooee!! Sega made a game again! The last Sega game I played and really enjoyed was that there Yakuza game. FUCKING GREAT, experimental in that it was an fighting game action RPG set in modern day. You get me? That means there were random battles, level ups, side-quests, and a pretty good story (but...like other Japanese stuff these days, had like five endings...bizarro). This too is an experimental game: A Race Shooter. That's my coinage, I'm coining it. See Sega or some other company and I fucked up but I'm too lazy to confirm sources (unprofessional) also made this car shooting game recently for the PS3 where you race around shooting up cars, maybe on a track, maybe not. The point is in The Club, you are some random national (Russian, Chinese, American, Jamaican, etc.) who runs around shooting people (sometimes you have to run laps), and you better do it right. From the start, the tutorial explains your points (and thus the point of the game) will be based on how you kill your fellow man. You better shoot them in the head, or do something "cool" like roll and then shoot them. Then you better keep killing other people too, quickly so you can get more combos to score more points! I think Red Dead Revolver had a similar idea, but it was more like you got more money for hitting people in specific areas. Red Dead Revolver had a great storyline, or it was ok, but the gameplay more than made up for it. The Club is all killing, all score-gathering, and it's so twisted in this aspect, that it's pretty fun. The weapons sound great for some reason, and there are lots of them, and there's no need for developers to hold back since weapons are procure on-site and disappear from your inventory after the map ends, so you can get an RPG almost anytime you want.
A multiplayer mode lets you play a game similar to Timesplitters' Gladiator called Hunter/Hunted. Get the 1st kill, you're the hunted. Stay alive. Everyone else is the hunters.
I'm really curious about this game just because I want to see what else there is to it. The idea is so simple, some other reason must exist for this concept. It can't just be the same thing over and over...can it?

I'm really curious, but scared. Maybe they only showed so little because what's there isn't worth it. It also struck me that you could call this a King of Shooters tournament maybe...KOF w/ guns...

Turok:

RON PERLMAN DOES A VOICE IN THIS GAME! WOW! WOW! WOW! Sometimes he does bad things. Parts of this demo were really cool. The flashback scene where you learn how Turok learned his shit was pretty cool. Fighting dinosaurs is pretty fucking cool, especially when they tackle you and you cut into them until they back the fuck off. I hate the stealth, it's boring. I hate the selection of weapons: Double shotty, Double SMG, mix of the two, singular, a bow (that doesn't seem to work on humans... :(, and a knife (but that's a fucking hot knife yo. since RE4, I love me some hot knives). It's Halo style. Holding a single weapon lets you throw grenades. Knife stealth kills are pretty cool. The overall feel isn't bad, but something about this game bugs me, and makes me not want to play it. I think it's lack of respect for the series really. I think there are better titles out there like Resistance: Fall of Man.
Even Ron Perlman kinda hates Turok. The whole time he's with you he's all like, "yeah, whatever, do this." or "Oh, you fell down a hole, well, umm...find your way out or something." Then he sees this albino fucker and he gets all excited like "OOh, REESE! REESE! You've got a sniper rifle. That's cool. Hey, wait up, Reese! REESE! HEY! LOOK! LOOK! HEY REESE! HEY LOOK! HEY REESE! HEY LOOK, MAN!" Then he and Reese tell you to kill people for them.
Fuck you, Reese. Cover my fucking ass or don't exist. Yeah, that's right, you NPC motherfucker, I said, squad-based combat doesn't make sense if you're just gonna make me fight for my self. That's stupid.

ONE REALLY COOL THING THOUGH! A REALLY NEAT SHITERDOO! Guardians (big Antlion fuckers) from Half-Life 2, when they were attacking, were really hard to avoid, and so are some of the dinosaurs in Turok, so push that left stick and hit X like you would in most third-person action games and you dive out that way. Great! Now if only there was a sprint feature like there was in Half-Life 2.

P.S. I got beef with Half-Life 2: Episode 2. I'll really post about it later, but I think being the bitch errand boy of every NPC you talk to really sucks. The story got weak yo. 

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Demo Lookat - Kane & Lynch, Devil May Cry 4

Kane & Lynch:

Last I heard got a bunch of bad reviews, but this demo was pretty fun. Squad-based 3rd person action game this is. From the start, it reminds me of Killswitch, which if you may not know was this lil old game where you ran around Iraq-looking places looking to take down this empire blah blah blah, and oh by the way the whole thing might just be a VR simulation. Also could be similar to Gears of War, which I haven't played too much, but both are squad-based and require a lot of hiding. I think Gears of War had more depth. From this demo, you have very few options of attack: 1, shoot the gat 2, hit the dude with the gat 3, get someone else to shoot him 4, throw a smoke grenade and make him all woozy then hit or shoot with the gat. The game is squad-based, but they're only essential for bringing you back to life. I could not figure out how to use them properly, nor did I really care to since I can shoot just fine thank you.
So, that's it. Find cover, shoot, find cover, shoot, reach an objective, move on, find cover, shoot, advance the plot. I like that when your character dies, you hear voices, which I assume are imagined, of other people in your life that you've let down by dying. You sad fucker. P.S. Lynch hates you. He's the one with the shotgun and the angry look, and the unproductive comments about your ability as a...umm...whatever you are. 
You are not very nice, for sure. You kill Japanese people and police officers, Personally, killing Japanese policemen makes me sad. I've seen some burly, oldtime motherfuckers that probably inspired Mad Bull 34 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Bull_34), but generally they've been nice people. Mant a time, a Japanese police officer saved me when I was lost and needed directions. Much better than mapquest! Why I have to shoot them? Also, you can shoot unarmed women and suffer absolutely no consequences...joy!?! For a long time I thought they had guns. I also thought, "Even unarmed people make me nervous. It's hard to see if they have a gun. I may just kill her anyway."
I didn't though! I'm not a fan of killing innocents unless you can do it in cool ways like Jedi Knight: Outcast or I don't remember how many different combinations of death I imagined for a sad Black Mesa cop in Half-Life 1. Accidentally hitting a woman in the crossfire just kills me a little inside, but feels realistic. What doesn't is the scream sound they picked, which I recognize as the scream sound everyone uses, and...well, fuck you for cutting corners.
The game looks fantastic. The environments are great and detailed. The game itself is pretty challenging. Bullets and people come from everywhere, and it is very difficult to track where because of the flurry of activity; however, Call of Duty 4 had this in spades, and it had a better control scheme, better feel, better use of squad tactics, better melee attack, and a first-person viewpoint. Kane & Lynch's over the right shoulder camera makes aiming difficult, although gives the game a really interesting feel and look. Almost like you, as the player, are an observer rather than Kane himself.
I have only played the demo, but I would be curious to see the full game, and also the movie.

Devil May Cry 4:

Looks goddamn beautiful. From the first game, the designers always made wonderfully-detailed cathedral structures; however, the environment itself never really seems to become a limiting or advantageous factor; except I think in one of the games you could do a pole dance attack or something. This game has a beautiful port. I guess that's weird, I just like it.
 Mostly, you walk around until you hit an arena-like place, and then you fight in it. Anyway, a lot of this game feels like the first one, but not as cool. The first one had great environments, and great bosses. This one has a firey centaur so far. He was tough, and challenging. I didn't actually beat him because I was frustrated that the demo doesn't have a continue option.
There's a lot of repetition: grab with cool hand mechanic thingy that stretches like your mom when I'm in her (well...actually much farther, but she likes it, I like it), slice until enemy falls down, jump up, grab with the stretchy love muscle, slicey slicey, shoot maybe, enemy fall down. The boss fight changes everything up, but I really couldn't do any damage to the motherfucker.
It's fun. I like stuff like this. Back to the environments, for some reason this game resembles Onimusha 3 to me in that devil something or others have invaded a city, and Chaos Legion (another capcom game) in the way the enemies look and the icy location. I feel like this is rehash. I feel like adding a stretchy, grabby, oh-yeah-that's-the-way-I-like-it mechanic does not really add much to an already played-out concept, but I did enjoy playing this game.
My problem is: I think the first one had more varied moves, and I think Ninja Gaiden kinda blows this game out of the water. Ninja Gaiden isn't as "Badass," it's more feudal, but then again, some of that has always seemed forced. Nero (the new main character) doesn't really say much badassery, or you can tell what's coming or something. It's not well written.

Ok, back to the other demos!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Tendonitis be damned!

Here is my first (semi-) well thought out post regarding video games. If none of you caught the clip of the Mass Effect discussion on Fox News, look it up. In response to this horrific clip, I decided to personally send a letter to Ms. Cooper Lawrence. Here it is... we'll see how this turns out, but I doubt anything will come of it.

Dear Ms. Lawrence,

I am writing to you in regard to your comments on Fox News about the video game Mass Effect. While I would love to take this opportunity to take pot shots at you personally, I figure you’ll be assaulted with enough of those by the time you read this (if you even bother). And quite frankly, cheap shots would be merited, with all your highly uneducated and poorly thought out comments. Essentially you were personally attacking video games, backing your arguments with nothing more than ignorant statements.

First off, what I find deplorable is that you didn’t even play the game before making those outrageous statements. How can you make comments like “objects of desire” and “hot bodies” without having played the game? And then you went on to say it doesn’t show “women as being valued for anything other than their sexuality.” Excuse me, how many times am I going have to point this out? YOU HAVEN’T EVEN PLAYED THE GAME.

You certainly need to research your statistics as well. Every study I have ever read puts the 18-34 year old group of males as the predominant video game players. That’s quite far from “adolescent males.” Also, for every piece of “research” you cite about the ill effects video games can have, I can cite one that claims the opposite.

You should really go back and listen carefully to Mr. Keighley’s comments because they are well informed, valid, and most importantly, accurate (something yours were not).

On a side note, you went as far as calling him “darlin.” Really? Are you that blatantly disrespectful to everyone you have discussions with, or just those you look down upon because you are so narrow minded and refuse to accept video games as a respectable medium? It seems you were more interested in pitching your book (super cover photo by the way) and getting air time than actually having a well thought out discussion. Next time you choose to mouth off about something, please do us a favor and do a little more research. Stick to what you know and let the real experts on the issue have their say.

Finally, I just want to mention that, and I can’t emphasize this enough, the game is rated M for MATURE. That means it is not intended for children under the age of 17. Just as with movies that are rated R, they can get into the hands of children. This is where the parents are supposed to come in. You see, people seem to think that it’s not the parents’ responsibility to raise a child these days. Hmmm, that’s funny, because I thought that was the whole point of parenthood. And please spare me any comments about working parents and how difficult it is to raise a child. Both my parents worked full time jobs and still had the time to keep an eye on what I was doing. If you’re not ready to raise a child, DON’T HAVE ONE, plain and simple. Alright, I’ve gone off on a long enough tangent. But please, take the time to consider these points… I took the time to consider yours, which based on your statements, was more than you deserve.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Safari on new Mac OS

FUCKING PRETTY! Efficiency is beauty, pneumatic, wonderful, darling!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

It's January 19th...

...and you know what that means. HAPPY MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY DAY! We at MS(g)B understand that gaming should always be a top priority but some days we like to turn our focus elsewhere. Today is certainly one of those days... especially because it only comes once a year. Be sure to check under your pillow. If you've been good, you just might find a picture of Matthew Mcconaughey. Keep on gaming and don't forget to wish all your friends a very Happy Matthew Mcconaughey Day... tis truly a joyous occasion.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Harvey Birdman: Ace Attorney

I kindly asked the FUK for a Nintendo DS because I really wanted to play Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. I played it a lot on the road to FU's highly-renowned state school and in Japan. It's a great game, has like five endings like the LOtR, but it's fun, funny, and really challenging. It also has cool gimmicks like this: http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=213
And a neat fingerprinting thingy where you blow onto the microphone to clear the dust. I finished the game on an airplane somewhere, and to do so I had to yell "objection!" very loudly into this same microphone, and felt silly.
The Harvey Birdman game is made by all the same people, but actually has voices instead of dialogue, which I personally frown on because video games like comic books should rely more on written dialogue than the voice actors they pay through the nose to get, but since the game is based on a cartoon show, it makes perfect sense. The Harvey Birdman game plays like watching an episode of Harvey Birdman, except for the fact that Harvey Birdman is great for being irreverent, but in the video game, you kind of have to prove your case. However, this doesn't stop you, the player, from having court in a hot tub or being forced to defend people who have robbed from you.
So far the only downside is that sometimes it's too irreverent, making it hard to determine how you're supposed to progress the game, or sometimes not irreverent enough when the dialogue is tainted by the need to have some sort of sense.
Additionally, the game encourages nonsensicality by giving bonuses for the wrong answer to a question.
It's fast-paced, funny, and replay gives greater appreciation of the situations, unlockable movies, and sometimes Inch-high Private Eye squiggling around with a gagball in his mouth.
So far, great, 'nuff said.

We're All Going to Hell, and then We're Going to Disneyland

One time, one of Johnson's Keepers of the Johnson SauZe, relayed this story to Johnson. A parade of gay bashers had descended upon KU, and the anti-protesters had this subject title to say. It's bad that Lil B still remembers this story, the keeper probably forgot she told him.
We here at MS(g)B Centerstage would like to start a mailing list or an RSS, so that peeps will know when we update our shit, because it is my inkling that our shit may not be updated often. We might get constipated or something, so we're going to find out how to do that, but until then, send an email to the listed email address and we'll let you know.
From the B. Johnson's side, we have an impending review of Half-Life 2: The Series and a comparison between Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow. Then, hopefully, we'll have a small discussion about the importance and charm of older games. I think I found out that Vagrant Story remained in obscurity for a reason: repetitive, relatively unrewarding gameplay despite a cool environment and storyline. Also, at some point, there will be a no-holds-barred Timesplitters throwdown, where everyone will learn that nostalgia only covers up so much; however, we're pretty sure the TS2 port to Gamecube was very sub-par. The PS2 one is much prettier. We have to pick up the RE Reduxs for Gamecube. They have RE2 and 3 out now! TANOSHIMI MOTHERFUCKER!
I dunno what FUK is doing right now. I miss him though.
This concludes this portion of our east and middle US coast coverage.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Blu-Ray has won...I'm going to hell for this

I apologize in advance... this is probably too much...

Monday, January 14, 2008

More Absurdity

I know, I know, more articles from kotaku (it's actually from the consumerist)... but this is insane.

Assassin's Creed Fiasco

I really would love to go through this piece by piece but tendinitis in both elbows is a bitch and typing is no longer my friend. A short and simple question though: Since when is it ILLEGAL to sell a game to a minor? Last time I checked all proposed legislation covering that has been shot down.

This other one is actually from kotaku. It features more ridiculous descriptions of mass effect by the mainstream media. This is just fucking ridiculous, barely any research is necessary to disprove their claim. I haven't played the game but have seen the footage in question and I can assure you it's nothing like described. The scary thing is people will accept these lies without question.

Mass Effect is PRON?

Their analysis is much better than mine (at kotaku I mean)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Ignorance

I hate to keep posting links from kotaku but this one is just TOO much and I had to share

http://kotaku.com/343554/do-gamers-read

Good Lord. It's people like this that sincerely frustrate the shit out of me (there are plenty of others but we're talking gaming here). No real comments... just wow.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bladestorm is worth owning + so is Dynasty Warriors: Gundam, but beware!

John Fu Kennedy in a recent late-night, "well, let's play games" marathon, deeply criticized Lil B. Johnson for playing Bladestorm, but made his statements entirely on watching it, and they were very mean. He feels it is too open-ended, and he may be right in some ways.
Bladestorm has very little plot. It's by the makers of Dynasty and Samurai Warriors, Koei, who have never been very good about stories, but then again when you're always dealing with large-scale battles, what story can you tell but "General A did this to Land with these Troops" or "Person was fighting because he was angry about this, so he fought." Actually, I take that back. The Lord of the Rings is a series of large-scale battles, but it has a great story. God of War is about an angry person, but his past and present actions tell a great story. An emphasis on your character should have been here, but wasn't.
Bladestorm is designed to be open-ended, a little bit too open-ended. For example, your character's mouth doesn't even move throughout the game. I don't think it ever will. He/she never talks, never interacts with his/her environment except to fight either the Brittish or the French, and since battles have very little impact on the actual war itself, it really doesn't matter which side you fight for or what actions you take. Similar to Armored Core, failing a mission does not result in a game over, but maybe consistent failure does. Similarly, dying causes "retreat," so you can't really lose anything material by being careless, just the opportunity to make more gains.
Maybe the story changes based on who you fight for more, but I haven't seen it. Randomly people approach you, which is probably a trigger caused by certain events, but it seems consistent. The bartender tells you can get a prize for getting 1st place on the battlefield, but doesn't deliver the prize until two missions later. Since my strategy on the battlefield (a strategy I learned from the other Koei games) is to take as many bases and kill as many officers as possible, I probably have missed triggers for events. I don't pay attention to instructions. Why should I? The incentives for paying attention aren't that great. In recent Dynasty Warriors games, failing to pay attention to the battle's strategy usually makes things harder. In this one, go wherever you like. I don't care.
Koei games so far haven't been about the story. It's about the gameplay, but even that itself, even though very rewarding, gets old after a while. A lot of strategy is involved. It's a very complicated system that is very rewarding to learn, little ways to improve your soldiers are myriad, but after a while it all seems the same. Without a story element, playing Bladestorm is fun for a little while, but never grips you like say God of War II or Portal.
You're a mercenary. You go around seizing control over units, and then leading them to attack whomever you want. You'll get the most points, which translates to fame which I guess means story progression, by taking over enemy bases and killing enemy officers, which in turn gives you experience for your type of unit. Unit level ups give points which can be spent to improve various stats like Attack, Defense, Unit Size, etc. Only level ups give the points to improve these stats; however, which is problematic. Often you can be a smidgen away from improving the stat you want, but you'll have to wait for the next level up to improve it.
Stat improving points are also spent to improve a particular unit's skills. Each type of unit (and there are many even among the classes) has a set of three skills they can use to help KO the enemy. Two are usually special attacks, the third is usually a temporary improvement or "defend" command. Using skills at the right time is very important, and timing the use is also very important, but if you can stay alive, you'll have another chance...probably, or you can just find another set of units.
The other recent release by Koei for PS3, Dynasty Warriors: Gundam was fun for it's sheer amount of death and destruction, and the "playing with your parts" for good stat upgrades. Playing with different mobile suits gave a different feel, and different types of attacks, but I think, personally, Heero's mobile suit was the best, and all others really cowered before it. The disparity in sheer power was great in my opinion. The storylines required deep understanding of the respective gundam universes, except for the original mode, which had some very interesting conflicts between characters. It spurred my interest in these older series, which may have been the original idea. Unfortunately, and even Japanese people feel this way, these days Japanese people don't know how to end anything. The endings were overly sappy and conclusive sometimes, or just didn't explain what was going on.

My point here is that Dynasty Warriors: Gundam and Bladestorm are fun to own, and pick up every once and a while, but extensive playing of either one may make your life feel empty, fighting for upgrades that don't mean anything, and don't get you closer to understanding the human condition or the Hundred Years War (which is when Bladestorm takes place, sorry I didn't mention that earlier, but it invites nasty nicknames for the game like "French-English Warriors" or "Eurocentric Warriors" or "The French Used to Fight Good, Honest!" See how mean that was...despicable). Empty like these other games made me feel: Dark Cloud, Final Fantasy Tactics (I spent a lot of time leveling up instead of progressing the story...my bad. I'll have to try again sometime), Crimson Blade (I think that's what it was called, it was bad), Dynasty Warriors 2 (oh, launch titles...), Front Mission 4 (NO REAL STORY! Can't compare with Front Mission 3, which was a wonderful game), Final Fantasy XII (I kept waiting for an interesting story with real character development), Puzzle Quest (I really enjoy it, but I feel like I've spent too much time on it. Even though the writing is pretty good, that one type of puzzle does everything in the game, and after a while, with the rights spells, the game is really easy. The incentives for getting new spells are not that great. However, I really like capturing monsters, that takes some more varying strategy), Suikoden 3 (had a pretty fun battle system, and I leveled up for too long, maxed out a lot of shit, and then the story wasn't worth it), Diablo (although I stopped myself before I got really into that) and the Playstation 2 Arc The Lad game (not enough to do in battle!). I can't remember all the other times I played a unsatisfying videogame instead of having sex or helping out the community.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Portal Follow Up

It was beyond fucking great. It was nearly flawless. Sure it was short, but every second of it was pure mind bending bliss. No point in nit-picking small flaws, the writing was great, the game play was great, the puzzles were great, and the pacing was great... even with the longer load times (and one instance of freezing) on the PS3 orange box. Get off your ass Newell and get us a patch for the PS3. Also, in the future don't outsource your games to EA just because you are too lazy to learn the PS3 architecture. And don't charge full price if you are delivering a half ass product.

~JohnFU

Portal

'nuff said. It was fucking great.

Monday, January 7, 2008

ZOMG!!!!11 IT'S A BLOG

WOW... a real blog. I'm a real blogger. We're going to have to find a way to make this work so you can tell which one of us is posting (and play favorites)... my first obnoxious blog parenthesis. Anyways... so much to talk about... so much to say. Halo is a mediocre series... timesplitters is way better. blu ray will win the format wars. both steve jobs and bill gates can be tools but that's not to say I don't like their products. metal gear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, this is a gaming blog right?

~JohnFU

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Windows Vista

Lil B. Johnson finds it ridiculous that you would design an operating system not to be better, but to look better, which is my view of the new Windows operating system, which still has glitches out the fucking wazoo.
To be less harsh, Vista also has some nice file navigating features that make it pretty easy to find and move stuff around once you get used to it.
I haven't used Leopard yet, but the fact that it already employed the Cube style effects (they call them "spaces") where you can have multiple displays basically, led my Comp Sci major friend to comment that Vista was already outdated.
I think it's a waste of space, but then again, no OS is bloody perfect.
Versions of Linux like Ubuntu are more stable than Windows, and those people aren't even paid for that shit.
Check it out for yourself sometimes, and WITNESS THE POWER OF A GOOD HEART AND REALLY EFFECTIVE FORUMS ADMINISTERED BY PEOPLE WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
I haven't actually seen these myself...

What the fuck? What the fuck? -- Apple Computers and Spinning Dicks

Lil B Johnson has a MacBook Pro bullshit dual processor bullshit whatever. 15' of battery sucking power in the palm of your hands for however long you can support 8 pounds of plastic, chrome-looking sexiness (I have a friend who likes to rub the labtop because of the way it feels). It's just ridiculous the way you're supposed to calibrate the battery and then suddenly expect better performance. I can't even remember the steps, but it's aggravating...o h y e a h, and it makes me feel stupid because I'm too lazy to take two days to make my battery maybe last four hours doing nothing instead of an hour and a half.