Friday, May 30, 2008

Hyperreality - Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

I am on a cigarette break from Uncharted! It's like being Hunter S. Thompson or a real journalist. Anyway, might as well be useful.
Hyper-reality was taught to me as a snake with more than two teeth with a sword through its head screaming. It's actually the following (according to the powers-that-wiki) Now the other night I beat Assasin's Creed which had scenes of dude jumping from the height of a skyscraper into a wagon of hay unscathed but still attempted to be realistic by the fact that mostly your dude and enemies parry instead of the normally-accepted Dynasty Warriors or fighting game style where you get hit shitloads. The point in Assasin's Creed is you don't get hit, but...you know...if you do, w/e it's just a synchronization loss.
Previously the rule was you can get hit in gameplay all you want, but in cutscenes and FMV, you can't, but you actually get shot in a cutscene in Uncharted along with thousands of other untold "Fuck Reality" bits. So much so that I wish the final twist was some sort of weird coma thingy and you realize you're actually a vegetable in a hospital bed.
The puzzles are not that hard in Uncharted. How was it that only you could figure out the right order to arrange those statues? How was it that even though you were the only one that smart, badguys are still everywhere in the game?
One of my problems with Farcry as well is that normal people cannot pickup guns and magically be good at them.
Normal people cannot jump like the fucking Prince of Persia.
MP40s that sit and rust for several years probably can't be used.
Normal people get really tired after lifting themselves up on ledges. REALLY FUCKING TIRED! Jumping is pretty lame too. The camera shows you exactly where to go, then you just hit the button.
Normal NPCs die when they get hit, unlike Half-Life 2's Alyx and Uncharted's Elena.
My point is all the unrealistic elements really detract from a cinematic game that does a great job of motion capture and voice acting and mimicking Indiana Jones!
However, I do like the Grendel, zombie-cursed motherfuckers that attack you, has a real Indiana Jones feel to it. I also like that if you try to go toe-to-toe melee on them, they kill you cold dead.
It's also pretty bad that the main combat mechanic is hiding. Two other games that used that heavily: .killswitch and Gears of War. Both looked repetitive as shit. Gears of War also just looked Xboxish...you know...like a cheezy movie for X-games marinecock-sucking addicts.
People talked up this game a shitload, and it has a great amount of good points, but I never want to read a preview again after this ane that Haze demo. Like Uncharted, story was great, but gameplay was ehh...

on the other posts I forgot to do the MS(g)B thing.

"I know who you are, Asshole"
-Nate Drake

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