Remembering that dumb feeling - Jak & Daxter, Ratchet & Clank, Monkey Island, Sam & Max Hit the Road, grim Fandango, etc. etc.

Remember when you were a kid and played video games? Remember how you could get to one part of a game and then you got stuck, had to start the whole game over to actually play because you hit some speedbump that was impassible without your big brother's help.

One year, my neighbor got me a game genie for my birthday. Nice fucking kid! So much easier to beat games then.

So, you get what I'm talking about, right? Sometimes you just gotta reach for the goddamn strategy guide because whatever the game's trying to make you do 't aint natural.

I'm not good at older games. I guess a lot of people aren't because they were more difficult. I blame a lot of my weakness on the fact that controls used to suck. Suck out the fucking ass suck.

Example of an older game's controls-
A- Shoot
B- Jump
D-pad is d-pad

You can jump. You can shoot. Forget dodging like a human might dream of. It's like comparing old Resident Evil with new Resident Evil. Some sort of fear is lost in the fact that the old controls were shit and hard to use and now shit's a lot easier to control.

However, that isn't my problem (damn, when am I ever going to get to the point?). My problem is that older games tend to make me feel just downright stupid. Like in Jak & Daxter where I just don't seem able to do certain things. I kind of remember why I hated these zeldaesque games. Because when presented with some challenge it's hard to know whether you're even capable yet of completing said challenge. Maybe you have to come back later with the Big, Black Dildo of Comeuppance to slap that bitch so she'll drop the Platinum Filling of Herpes out of her mouth. Fuck if I know.

I play this game and I die so often I've started to expect to do it when I enter any room in the game. Every step is a recon mission for my next turn at life.

So, I feel dumb.

Ratchet & Clank's shoot-em-up and jump style was more to my liking. I'm proud to say that I beat three of those games in the course of a week, and I only stopped beating 'em because the other ones cost money. Three more plus some PSP titles and I'll have played them all. Ratchet & Clanks are best at humor and weapons and leveling up said weapons.

Jak & Daxter is best at making me feel dumb and telling myself, "This happens to a lot of gamers."

I felt the same kinda way about Monkey Island and a lot of the other old adventure games. I hit speed bumps and then I got out a strategy guide because I knew I wasn't smart enough. Or maybe I'm just holding myself back. Maybe I am smart enough, I just don't want to admit it or spend the time to find out.

Jak & Daxter frustrates me with its difficulty. I'm serious. I find it harder than Ninja gaiden! If you've beaten these games, laugh at me. Some 8-year-old could tell me off and all I could say in return is "I have sex with women."

LyBel Johnson

p.s.(My brother's band's name is Libel. He's on myspace!)
p.s.s. I still remember some HTML!