Basement of The Last Starfighter: And now...an update

So yeah, I guess a lot of things are suddenly going on now in our summer schedules. I personally just got my first car the other day, dark grey 2006 VW GTI YUSSS. Games... hmm game time.

I have recently split my time among numerous 360 titles savoring in their combined loveliness. Forza 2 is a sweet fix for a driving sim. The last driving simulator I got into in a big way was back when Playstation was king and I played the shit out of GT2. After clearing that up one summer I had no desire to really get into the third or fourth iteration all this time. Forza 2 coming packaged with the 360 was pretty rad since I wouldn't have gone out of my way to get it, but having it is definitely a good thing. I sunk most of my past saturday on driving in career-mode (I am curious how frequently I will hit the game up now that I have a car of my own to joy ride in....premium gas is expensive and Forza 2 is free o_O).

Other titles I've been sinking my teeth into are Ninja Gaiden 2 and Condemned: Criminal Origins. Starting with Ninja Gaiden 2 I have to say I finally know what all the buzz is about. I freakin love it. Being a huge fan of the DMC series already Ninja Gaiden is right up my alley. I picked Path of the Warrior to start out not having played a NG game before and I think it's just fine so far. Part of it is me knows that some of the deaths are because I am a retard so I don't fault the game yet for being overly difficult on the basic difficulty. Honestly it gives off the same vibe of a learning curve as DMC did, albeit definitely overall harder than previous DMC titles, and that is: You may die, you may die a lot... but you still have this feeling inside that you know you CAN do it. This is the absolutely addictive quality to these kinds of games that I find, not only is it satisfying to finally beat it but when you're in the zone dancing about cutting up enemies it is pure magic. When you take out a batch of spawned enemies without taking a hit then it feels so right and visually it looks so rad that you want more. I think I may still be in chapter 3 of NG2? maybe 4 but so far I'm totally down and loving it. FUCK YOU METAL-LIGHTNING-FISH-MAN that fight was so frustrating and the fact that the death animation shows Ryu walk away non-chalantly with mad-explosions behind him made me errupt in laughter.

Next we have Condemned: Criminal Origins... OMGZ WTF. This game is amazing, amazingly creepy and disturbing and demands you play it more. I have never felt more jumpy after playing a game and more eager to dive down pitch black hallways in slums to be jumped by junkies jacked up on crack-cocaine and other totally sweet narcotics. I mean, the game eases you into the thriller-fest quite nicely. The story starts out nicely with you, an FBI agent, investigating another crime-scene of a loose serial killer. Naturally to get the average player who is already thinking "enough with the forensics lets kill some bitches" into some action it just so happens the serial killer is still on the premises. You're introduced to mechanics as you slowly attempt to chase the suspect despite being told to sit tight. After downing a couple junkies you naturally have your gun taken from you by the serial killer and subsequently he uses it to kill your friendly locals and gets the ball rolling on the main plot of you being framed and needing to take your own steps to justify your innocence. Up till that point I was like ok, this game has got the sound mixing going on and has me on my toes, but it wasn't that bad yet. Enter chapter 2 and now I am scared shitless. So I found pictures someone took of me from across the street, obviously from the abandoned subway station across the way. That's easy, lets just go diving into the filth of the city and pop up with the evidence I need! Inside the stygian basement labyrinth that happens to connect the alley behind my house to aforementioned subway station I experience the "oh shit, things just got real" moment. Only now at this point in the game has the AI begun to really shine in showing off the "run away to grab a better weapon" or "break light sources so we fan fuck the detective" routines. What totally got me though was when I passed a window to a room and needed a health pack bad so I figured I should check out inside the room. Naturally the room held the sustenance I needed, but wielding a .45 I was hesitant to use a round on the damn glass to get to my tasty-delicious... so I investigate the rest of the room to find a 2x4 or pipe to bust up some glass. As I turn the corner and see the window that I had peered in from... WTFZOMGJESUSCHRIST. In the hallway I had just come from there is a crazy leaning casually on the window peering at me and I can hear hear him emit a laugh that shot needles of ice down my back. WHAT THE FUCK this game just turned the knob to 11, it just whispered into my ear "we gon' go for a ride...", I just shat my pants. Immediately he slinkers off and naturally awaited around the corner of the door to get into the room I was in, being the ammo-whore that I am I decide it's worth taking him out to get his weapon to break into the health box. I mentioned I was low on health and being the shaky-tard-ass that I am I got jumped and died. I loaded that shit back up, went to the room, heard his shit-eating-laugh and put a bullet in his head while he leaned on the glass... the motherfucker still slinkered off so I tazered him outside the door and beat his ass with his weapon. I will assume that my aim was not true and it grazed him compounded by the fact the glass probably slowed down the bullet...but there was blood on the outside. Or I could easily just assume these drugs make these hobos complete super sodliers capable of sustaining bullets to the head.

I really do enjoy the whole "oh you need a sledgehammer to get through this door, you better go get it from the room across the way you can only get to by going through a pitch black basement filled with crack-heads with .45s" because I end up laughing every time it takes me until I reach the tool to realize I was sent on this small detour. That doesn't really detract from it since you're too damned busy jumping at every noise you hear cause some damn crack-lunatic is hiding behind the next corner with a 2x4 littered with sharp nails ready to drive a good one in on your skull. So far I am loving this game, I will be honest and say this has never been my flavor of game and I used to be flat-out unable to handle this. But with all things my tastes change and now I am absolutely loving it, granted I can only do it in doses haha. The intensity is ridiculous for me, the demented sounds I heard at the bottom of those basements creeped me the fuck out and yet amounted to nothing. More likely than not it was the serial killer actually whacking it while he watched me with nightvision goggles. I also really enjoy the fact the serial killer that had a monologue at the beginning is absolutely normal and average looking save for the fact his speech showed he is not right in the head. Absolutely brilliant fucking characterization.

On a completely unrelated note I give you hotness...absolute hotness. I swear to god next time they come to the DC area for a concert I am going to the afterparty.